The something more I'm feeling
by majunior56
Summary: A normal day for Kaorin brings back what is probably the most treasured memory of her young life...


The classroom buzzed with activity as the students prepared to return home after a long day of working hard at learning.

Kaorin rose from her seat with her eyes fixed on her beauteous raven haired class mate, Sakaki who was in the process of slowly packing her belongings. Mustering up all the courage her small, timid body could she slowly began to approach the radiant girl, hiding her nerves with a warm and inviting smile. The short encounters she had with her beloved were what she longingly day dreamed about each day of her life.

"Hello Sakaki-san!" Kaorin said cheerfully.

"Hello." The girl replied in her naturally concise manner.

"are you getting ready to head home?" Kaorin was responded to with a tiny nod as Sakaki stood dwarfing the other girl.

"Do you want to walk home together?"

"okay."

For anyone else the walk out of the building would have seemed uneventful. They did nothing but engage in small talk about subjects such as the mountainous pile of homework that awaited them at home, the strain of their day to day routine and their plans for the free time available to them in a way that followed a specific pattern. Kaorin would lead the conversation and Sakaki would comment and respond succinctly. They eventually arrived at the exit and said the customary "goodbye"s and "See you tomorrow"s as they went their separate ways. But for Kaorin it was these trivialities that meant the most for her. She treasured this moment and moments like it for the simple reason that they were spent with her love. Which is why as she walked away once more, Kaorin's gaze was held on her vanishing figure.

"Ain't that a sight."

Kaorin turned to see her tiny acquaintance known amongst her and her friends as Osaka.

"How long have you been standing there?"

"ten or so seconds I'd recon."

Osaka was remarkable to all she met in the indescribable eccentricity she carried with her. In spite of her special kind of outlandishness, or perhaps because of it, she was the only one who was aware of the feelings Kaorin had for Sakaki.

"That is still the darndest thing though." Osaka said softly, almost as though she was communicating with herself.

"what?"

"I ain't seen nothing like that. Not on tv, not in movies and definitely not nowhere with any folks I met."

"What are you talking about?"

"The way you look at her. Smile at her. Somethin' else. Somethin' more'n just liking some gal. It's just so special."

"Well with some one like that..." She paused for a moment before shaking her head. "No it's..."

"Whatsa matter?"

"It's all just one long story." As she began to walk toward her home,Osaka followed.

" I got time. And I got me some good listenin' ears when my minds right."

She easily could have dismissed her, but these feelings had to be released. She looked up at the sky and began to speak.

_I can't remember a time when I didn't like Sakaki-san. But I never really gave it much thought. I told my self it was a phase. That I would get over it and find a boy like a normal girl. _

_To be honest I was scared. _

_What if it wasn't just a phase? What If I was a lesbian? What would every one think? What would everyone do? What would I do?_

_What if I wasn't normal any more?_

_But one day I got my answer. One day I knew what I wanted. What I would do._

_I found it out on the day I found out how beautiful Sakaki-San really was._

_I never expected it to happen. I was just walking home one day when I heard a noise._

_It didn't take me long to recognize it as a sob. I ran to see who it was ,turning the street corner expecting to see a sad little girl or a heart broken young lady or anyone but the one I saw._

_I turned and saw Sakaki-San._

_She was holding a bleeding hand with a few small tears rolling down her face._

_I jumped to help her as soon as I saw her trying not to cry even though I wanted to._

_I took out a bandage that I had on hand and started putting it on. I tried to comfort her but she insisted it didn't hurt. She insisted she was alright. But even though she stopped crying, her eyes said something else. _

_they said to me as clear as day  
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_Please_

_someone_

_help me..._

_I asked her why she was crying and instead of answering she stood and spoke doing her best not to look towards me._

_"I want to hope..._

_I want to dream..._

_I want to lie in my bed at night thinking that tomorrow , I will almost be where I want to go._

_But no matter how hard I try I'm not normal... _

_I'm not what I'm supposed to be..._

_and the one thing I want..._

_that single thing..._

_is out of my reach..._

_and everyday_

_every hour_

_every last moment_

_I'm reminded that I can't have it._

_And am I supposed to?_

_Why should I be given something now._

_I never have been._

_And I'm selfish for wanting it._

_I'm an idiot for thinking I could have it._

_And the one thing I am always reminded of_

_is that I don't deserve it."_

_I couldn't stand listening to this anymore. I had to say something. And what I said came from somewhere I didn't know I could speak from. _

_For the first time ever I didn't talk._

_My heart did._

_"Please don't say such things Sakaki-San! _

_I don't know what happened _

_or what you've gone through_

_but I know that you aren't stupid. _

_You aren't selfish._

_and some as kind as you_

_as beautiful as you_

_as great as you_

_deserves to be the happiest person on the planet._

_And maybe_

_if someone would help you_

_if someone would show you that you deserve the world_

_you could be happy._

_And I know_

_I know_

_That you are nice enough_

_sweet enough_

_smart enough_

_and good enough to do that._

_So please don't give up._

_If you do_

_Weak people like me_

_will die drowning in our tears."  
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_We just looked at each other for what seemed like an eternity with tears flowing endlessly._

_Now Sakaki-San was diffrent._

_She was shocked_

_scared_

_confused_

_but finally when both of our tears stopped I saw something else that I never believed I could see. _

_But when I saw it_

_it was so beautiful_

_I looked in Sakaki-San's eyes _

_saw her tremble_

_and then she opened her mouth_

_"Thank you " She said_

_and she smiled._

_When I saw her smile my entire world changed._

_That was the first time I had ever seen something that I knew was beauty itself._

_and as we said goodbye to each other,shaken but in high spirits, _

_and I saw her walk away_

_I said the one thing that I will know, from now until the end of time_

_no matter what may come_

_no matter who may say no.  
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_"Sakaki-San._

_I love you..."_

After a moment of silence after this long tale they arrived at a crossroads.

"Thanks Kaorin."

"It was you who listened to the whole thing. I should be thanking you."

Osaka shook her head. "Not for that. For saving Sakaki-San."

Kaorin was caught by surprise by these words.

"And Kaorin?"

She was suddenly wrapped in a warm,comforting hug.

"Don't go givin' up now. For you and for Sakaki-San."

She returned her hug with a smile

"Don't worry I won't."

They began to walk their separate ways finally nearing their welcoming homes.

_I won't._

_I can't._

_I need to keep going on_

_for you_

_Sakaki_

_My love._

**AN:  
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**I hope you enjoyed my first true girls love work. I gotta be honest I teared up a bit while I wrote this. Though I worry it may come across as cheesy, hopefully this means it's good. :)**

**I experimented a bit by using Japanese Honorifics instead of terms like Ms. or Mr. I like this better but feel free to say so if it bothers you.**

**I also tried to give Osaka her accent in this. Being a native Houstonian who still resides in Texas I gotta say that the accent didn't take to much work.**

**I hope enough people know the song I got the title from. ;D  
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**Please review so I know how to improve.**

**Thank you very much for reading and I hope you enjoyed the story.**

**-Majunior over and out.  
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